But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
(Galatians 5:22-23 – ESV)

Now forgiveness not only affects our relationship with Jesus and with others but it also leads to our own destruction. It leads to bitterness, unbridled anger, murderous intent, jealousy, strife and absolute hatred. Are these synonymous with any of the fruit of the Spirit above? Indeed not. Unforgiveness will destroy us if we let it have its way. There could be reconciliation in many marriages, many family relationships, friendships and other relationships if forgiveness were present. Is that holding you back today?

Another thing that we need to understand when we forgive is that there may not be a chance for reconciliation because the other party may not repent of their actions or behavior. This does not negate our need to forgive but for those of you who feel that your forgiveness is contingent on a person repenting need to realize that God never allows for that consideration. And understand that a person can receive forgiveness of their sins through Christ while you are still holding to your unforgiveness. While you may feel that not forgiving someone puts you in control, the truth is that it only shows how much control you don’t have. Don’t let yourself get to such a dark place.

There are people who believe that when we forgive that wisdom just goes right out the door. Don’t be fooled. If you were a woman and somebody raped you and then you forgave the rapist, would you allow yourself to be in the same vicinity as that rapist, if he is unrepentant? No, and even if he did repent, you would still be cautious. Whatever we do, we must always make sure that we have wisdom involved.

Now if anyone has caused pain, he has caused it not to me, but in some measure—not to put it too severely—to all of you. For such a one, this punishment by the majority is enough, so you should rather turn to forgive and comfort him, or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. So I beg you to reaffirm your love for him. For this is why I wrote, that I might test you and know whether you are obedient in everything. Anyone whom you forgive, I also forgive. Indeed, what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, has been for your sake in the presence of Christ, so that we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his designs.
(2 Corinthians 2:5-11 – ESV)

Do you know that if you do not forgive when somebody is really being repentant that you can cause discouragement in a brother or sister in Christ that would cause them to stumble? And this is something that Satan would definitely want to have happen so that there would be division among brothers and sisters in the faith. Paul did not want this to happen in the Corinthian church so he encouraged the Corinthians to restore the man who had sinned. Be careful that you aren’t a stumbling block in someone’s life who really is trying to get right with the Lord and is repentant.

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
(Colossians 3:12-13 – ESV)

Unforgiveness is an ugly thing and yet it is something that we can get caught up in so easily and even justify why we are caught in that net. But understand that it is not of Christ and serves as something that will put you more in Satan’s embrace than God’s. Forgiveness isn’t easy because there is pain and sorrow involved but it is what God expects from us, it represents His very character, it keeps us in line with Him and it actually liberates us.

If you have unforgiveness in your life, don’t delay but go to the Lord in repentance and ask Him to take that burden from your heart. And always reflect and remember that no matter what, God has had to forgive us for a lot more than we will ever have to forgive anybody else.

CLICK TO READ PT. I